Am I the only one that feels like this?

I don’t like becoming this guy. I just got back from a business trip. I look around and see little clones of me all around in the airport. You know those guys. The business guys. In my case, dressed well (but not too well). I look around at work and on these trips and I see oceans of people, but most are just…existing.

I want to do what I want to do. Something that is filled with passion. Something that leaves a legacy. Something that doesn’t feel so much like work (but it does have to pay well).

Is that asking too much? Maybe, but this is my fantasy.

I can make lists and plans all day long, but in the end it all comes down to a single step. What prevents that step? Nothing…except a paralyzing fear.

So what do I want?

I want to live on the ocean (Atlantic)

I want to meet people

I want to write something that people want to read

I want to speak to groups (and be invited to do so)

I want to throw parties that people want to attend

I want to be able to hire friends and family

I want to travel, but on my terms, so my family can go with me.

I want a schedule that allows me to be flexible, skip work occasionally and fit in a workout

I want to involve history or the study of history

I want to help people or at least provide a welcome service

I want to be able to take my kids to work

I want to do something that I can pass on to my kids

I want my work and life to be surrounded by music

I want to be able to help (really help) charities and schools

I want this to be something that would involve or impact education

So how do I get all of that in one package? I don’t know and even if I did know, would I be too afraid to go out and get it?

Comments

[RonHeacock]

Posted in part to: FantasyWritersWanted@yahoogroups.com
I realize that you all probably have better things to do than listen to me prattle on.
I believe that our intent shapes our world. I am not talking about a Sci-Fi concept or some vague idea that using you imagination is the way to make a more fulfilled life. I have actually slipped over the edge. I REALLY believe that I can manifest the life I desire by intending to make it come true. I have done this several times. I see it as the ultimate fantasy story.

In support of that idea, Here is the shortened story of the past year. I started a novel. We found a farm in Southern Tennessee. We bought the farm and moved in. We started HillHouse Writers Retreat. I finished the novel and started another. The house is unbelievable. My life is perfect in all the right ways. I am relaxed and happy and I write daily. My novel is a fiction about this sort of manifestation. I finished it and started another. I work very hard – long hours. Tons of farm stuff – animals, grass (damn there is a lot of grass on 34 acres). And because we moved an hour away from the city I spend too much time in the car. But it does not seem like work.

My point? I just did what my heart dictated. I systematically threw away ideas that made me feel less than content. I trusted the process. I show up everyday and if I must, I write e-mails to get started. There is no lack of inspiration because there was only myself to get out of the way. That is the self that spits everybody’s negative shit at you. Once he shuts up the world is marvelous and mysterious and life becomes childlike and wondrous. At least most of the time – a lifetime of bad habits doesn’t mutate in a day.

[RonHeacock]

Sorry - but I just had to say somthing else...

First, I worked really hard on eliminating language form my personal lexicon that put a distance between me and what I desire. I can’t say that I have eliminated “want” from my life but just understanding that the word indicates “a lack of” helps some.
Everybody is always talking about prioritizing. I am about as disorganized as a person can get (my idea of filing is to leave important stuff in separate stacks all over my office floor. That way if I need something I have a slim chance of remembering what pile it is in.) But, when I started thinking in terms of actually getting the things on my list it became clear to me that some were more important than others. In the interests of realistic imagination (this IS a writer’s stock and trade, is it not?) I put the first things first. That helped me to see the long list as several short lists.
Actually writing the list in the first place is a great first step. Using your writing to define the items more clearly is another. If you can really imagine the way a desire on your list would feel if it came about (without restriction, so that it satisfied you and everyone close to you) then that makes the image a clear solid thing. Don’t get bogged down – this is your imagination after all.
IF you can remember how getting something similar made you feel at some other time then you should be able to apply that feeling to the new desire. It takes a little work but it is vastly more rewarding than Xbox.
The last step is the hardest for lots of people. You have to do what ever it takes. That does not mean to the exclusion of all else. It means keeping your eyes open for clues and hints around you. Leads that you can follow that would add up to a realization of your desire.
Finally, there is a misconception about people in general. That is that if they want to improve they should focus on faults and try to fix them. This is actually counterproductive. Knowing the way the human mind remembers things, it is actually easier to build onto things that you are competent with rather than looking at your faults and trying to repair them. If you are interested in exploring this concept further check out Marcus Buckingham’s book “The One thing” Look it up on Amazon – the URL is hideously long to copy here.